Coffee n eggs for breakfast. - Lily dont read this first para

Today was destined to be another ho hum day at work - even in the glittering world (!) of brand design you get those.
But no, packed with events it was.

First lovely A goes into the kitchen and screams like a banshee. We've had a recurring ant problem, despite having completely pristine everythings by my standards. When A went to fill the drip coffee machine, she spotted a little sucker in the water reservoir, she flushed it out - only to set off a mass exodus of egg carrying ants emerging from the innards of the coffee maker. Aaargh. we've all been drinking coffee from there - I refuse to believe the colony was established and fertilized in the last 24 hours. eeeeeuggghh. Send teabags - please.

Then as the morning rolled on, more and more workmen types appeared. Now this I tend to find dull - we rarely have 'diet-coke' types here. Then they leave the door open so it's freezing and to top it off they are way too respectful - no 'awright darlin - hey I widnae bring you a broken pay packet' glesgae banter to redeem them. So I plodded on.

We work in a big new warehouse (esque) building and they were fitting ceiling fans so there was much monkeying up ladders and bending of pipes going on. I realise that lovely A the office do everything is missing and presume they've annoyed her so much she's gone off for a sandwich. Which I also decide to do. I step outside to see if I need my coat (it is January after all - but I didnt) and there she is driving a bleedin cherry-picker around the back yard and hooting like a loony.

Obviously I immediately started screeching 'let me let me let me'. She wouldn't let me, but she came down and up we went together - her driving. We went higher than the roof then proceeded to have a ladylike conversation across the fence with the dudes from the surf shop next door. 'hey ladeez whats the surf look like from up there??' 'flat' 'bogus'. - obviously from great distance we appeared to him as ladeez and not screeching glesga/boston keelies as we did from up close.

It was sooo cool though. I want one for my birthday now. I can just see me, cruising up Highway 1,driving with two little knobs, appearing at peoples upstairs windows, looking in car sunroofs, decapitating myself on powerlines....

star spotting

I went to the Sundance Film festival in Utah with two friends.
Minus 10, freeeeeeeeezing cold, standing in queue's for 2 hours for tickets, living on popcorn, coffee and bagels for 3 days. And I LOVED it. It was a total hoot!

Celebs all over the place:

Alan Alda in the airport and on our plane (he's VERY old)
Jack Black at the Premier (he's VERY grey)
Danny Glover (he's looking wobbly)
Glenn Close (she's teeny tiny)
Patty Smith (I didnt know who she was but she's tiny and has had a hard paper-run by the looks of her)
Woody Harrelson (my mates saw him, I missed him cos I was putting my dafty bobble hat on at the time)
And lots of people who's name I can't remember so obviously aren't famous enough yet to merit a mention here.

I stayed with friends of a friend in an incredibly fancy and beautiful big house in the mountains (fancy as in, they have a cinema and ski lodge in the house, fancy). Which in itself was a hoot.


Saw some great movies and a terribly self indulgent documentary on Patty Smith. But at least now I know who she is!

I also had my 15 minutes of fame. Saw a documentary about water 'Float'. You MUST see it if you get the chance. Or read the book 'blue gold'. Anyway, at the Q&A session at the end, I talked about how it had knocked me off the fence on privatisation of water in Scotland. And they asked me to come up to the mic to tell the audience. Being shy and self-conscious I struggled with the decision for 2 seconds - and of course stepped right up there. My mates were thrilled. J says she's been going for 15 years and never seen anyone invited up to the mic before. I realised I am obviously destined for greatness and have a career as an activist / public speaker ahead of me. - that is till she showed me the video and I realized that while speaking very convincingly and with passion, I was talking total mince!!
But maybe politics is more my calling...

Anyway read the book, see the documentary, or check out the website wwww.floatthefilm.com. Please.

happy new year

On New Years Eve, while we had a housefull of people, little boy comes to me and says 'mum, I don't feel too good'. Oho thinks I, too much Root Beer (which tastes like germoline in my opinion. not that I've ever eaten germoline but its how I imagine it must taste). I whisk him upstairs and he duly barffs EVERYWHERE. Perfect exorcist style, it hits the walls, the floor, my suede boots (they've never been the same since the carpark incident anyway). I mop him up settle him down and return to the party.

Everyone leaves eventually and I get to bed at around 2am. At this point, a 96 hours of bodily fluids and sleep deprivation begin. Son is ill for 2 days (both ends, nuff said). He starts to recover and husband takes ill (less ill than the child in my opinion but still needs to go to his bed for 2 full days - but of course). 21 year old nephew visiting from Scotland gets it the night before his 12 hour flight home. He recovered enough to travel, clutching a pack of immodium for safety. Then as husband recovers and nephew departs, daughter gets it.

I spent 96 hours cleaning, bleaching and mopping brows - and I didn't get it!
My OCD handwashing thing must be a blessing after all.
Anyway, I felt like Ricky Fulton on Jan 1 - lucky white heather anyone?

pirates

Finally saw Pirates of the Caribbean 3. It was rubbish - and I love a good pirate movie so I was disappointed. Even Johnny Sparrow was uninteresting and I love him. But then right until the very end, Orlando Bloom dresses as a baddie, Hellllooo!

Never seen it in him before. Too girly/foppish for my taste. But put the lad in a black mutton sleeve shirt and a saucy bandana. Oh my.

Going public

So something weird is happening. After all these months of semi-private rantings and mumblings, I googled starbhanta and lo and behold there is my blog.! A somewhat specific google I know, but still, I was secure in my little 'only friends and family' world (funny how you list friends before family there isnt it? seems a little illogical or disrespectful somehow). ANYWAY, now I feel all exposed and open to scrutiny. Possibly by those who feature regularly. Until now I've avoided releasing the url, but an unfortunate linking of blogs resulted in general release recently - so who knows WHAT they've seen. I do know lovely Amy, the only person to get a real namecheck was moderately offended by me referring to her as 'way way older than me'. But in my defense I believe she said it first. And anyway, when you get to be this old, every month is a blessing, so more than a year IS way way older. So I guess I'll have to be more careful now. That's in addition to hoping that the people I've now warmed up to dont backtrack and see the nasty names I called them 9 months ago. OR I could just carry on hurting feelings and making enemies for the rest of my life, which is MUCH more fun for sure. Decision made.

So back to me me me. I notice I have an American pattern of phrasing slipping into my language more and more. I also am looking at the word 'defense' above and wondering if this is the correct spelling. If so, where is it correct? Here or there? It's very confusing. I also notice that I am becoming just a little Alice in Wonderland with these thoughts. I suspect the new esspresso machine (baby blue, very pretty) may be the culprit. 40+ people should not drink coffee after 6pm. It should be a law. It's now almost 1 am and I'm still sat here rambling. I'll need a latte to get me moving tomorrow, then I'll hit caffeine slump at 2 and will need another, then I'll be so awake at 7pm I'll think - oh yes, esspresso, what a good idea and then the whole vicious circle will start again. I'm now beginning to understand the whole addiction chain, which to be honest, despite my 40-a-day habit in my late teens, I never really got. It's very clever you know. I wonder can you buy shares in Starbucks and illy? I must look into that when I stop spending my money on baby blue coffee machines and the like and have something to invest in my old age.

There's another point on the fear of everything front. I've started worrying about my old age. Not that I worry too much about being old - quite looking forward to it in some ways. Shoving into queues, bad manners, and comfy shoes - right up my street. I'm a tad worried about how I'll cope being skint - because I will be skint (see baby blue coffee machine above!) I hope my sisters - who love and cherish me dearly, continue to be married to frugal and sensible husbands and take pity on me. (I married Peter Pan so I've already written off being rescued by him). Maybe if I send them really expensive christmas gifts every year...

Continents week

Every year, the kid's school picks a continent, each class picks a country and projects ensue. On the Friday, there is an open day, the kids get passports and traipse from country to country (class to class) doing crafts, sampling local foods, etc etc. It's great fund. Parent of course are roped in left right and centre. This year it was Europe. There was of course a 'Scotland' room. Husband of course, at the drop of a hat dons his kilt. He LOVES the attention, all the moms giving it 'oooh dont you look great', 'is it true what they say?' etc etc etc. He did say it was a less frightening experience than your usual Scottish wedding / Hogmany with drunken aunties tugging at his pleats, trying to sneak a peek.

His highlight came late in the day though. He's stood there in the classroom,in full regalia- kilt, socks, jacket, waiscoat, sporran - the lot. Munching shortbread, spouting forth about the lochs and glens, generally holding court in his best Sean Connery accent. 'Oh I know' says one mom 'it sounds lovely. Tell me, have you ever been to Scotland?'

Soft southern ways

Another month has passed without a blog entry. Just been so darned busy. Right after Thanksgiving, (we went to the lighthouse again, I feel a tradition in the making) we were off to Maui. Which was great. We have all become totally soft and just two days of rain is enough to send me into S.A.D. mode. And of course now it feels cold to us in California. When we came here to find a house in February 06 everyone on the beach was in duffle coats and big russian hats. We were in tshirts and jeans and laughing at how soft they all were. Now, I'm the cold rife at work every day and have just gone out and bought 2 pairs of wooly tights!! Saying that though, it is December and wooly tights and a denim jacket would NOT have kept me warm in Aberfoyle in December, for sure!

Anyhow, Maui. I had good intentions and made a list of noteworthy thoughts. As usual the list in itself is more entertaining than my usual ramblings. Explanations where the note still means something to me -(note to self: must make better notes).

MAUI - RAIN?

BURNT MEN/SPF MACHISMO

NAZI IN GOLF CART
A jobsworth security guard insisted we get out of the hot tub because the kids were under 12 years old. (lots of old folk in the complex). I tried to argue since there was no-one else in the pool area. He insisted, calling me 'ma am' in the process (which is always offensive to me for some reason). His reasons were a) its a house rule. I argued that wisdom of that one b) it's bad for their health - its too hot . I argued that the hot tub at home was 5 degrees hotter c) they wee in the tub. - to which I became a grossly offended Princess Ann - alike. ' I can assure you sir that my children DO NOT!'
We still got out though cos he wouldn't go away.

LOST MY BOTTLE
Spent a lot of time wondering why I have become scared of stuff. Scared of snorkelling too deep. Scared of helicopter rides. Scared of big tropical rainstorms. Is it motherhood or old age, I wonder? I'm still wondering.

HOLIDAY DISCOVERIES
All the family quality time pays off. I now know that my daughter can make arm farts and my son likes gambling and trucker hats with snakes on.

BIKINIS ARE FOR FLAT CHESTED GIRLS AND OLD WOMEN
I am neither. But now happy that I will one day wear a bikini again without having to diet, exercise or feel ashamed.

HOW VOLCANOS ARE MADE (AND SPELLED)
I knew neither as my six year old pointed out ( I had an e in there somewhere). I now know both.

HOW SUGAR CANE BECOMES SUGAR
The scottish school system should be ashamed of me.( I do know how to roll my own and smuggle vodka into a school disco for under 15's though.)

HAWAII HAS ONLY 12 LETTERS IN THE LANGUAGE.
Honestly. Not a helpful language for the poorly educated and directionally challenged among us.

DR WHO MEGATHON
My kids love Dr Who. We watched an episode each day, when it was too hot, or in the evening before bed. And replayed the entire series on the flight back. Great ressurection BBC.

MOTHER'S LOVE.
I'm not a great swimmer. The waves in Hawaii are BIG. We got bundled a few times. When I had charge of the little boy, I opened my eyes whilst underneath the rushing surf, grabbed him and pulled him to me even though that ditched me on my head, in the process of being thrown upside down I righted him and placed him on his feet, and covered his eyes when I was balanced on my neck in the surf with a bucketful of sand rushing up my nose. It was not pretty or graceful, and he still accused me of letting him go. But I know better.

SURF RASH HURTS
Especially when you are too hefty and not old enough to be wearing a bikini.