this is halloween this is halloween tra la la la la

Homage to Tim Burton in the title ( for those of you who didn't immediately get it.)

So who owes me $10 ? Bang on 8.15am - as we finish lacing the last leather effect wrist gauntlet - 'but I want to be an all black ninja!'

The school parade made me laugh at some of the great costumes. For me, first prize went to the garbage bin complete with rumaging racoon inside. As anticipated, there were 265 ninja's of various descriptions. Marching alongside the 493 little mexican girls dressed as blonde princesses. Were two little white boys dressed as mexicans in ponchs, sombreros and huge moustaches. Classic non-pc costumes.

At work, one scary clown made me scream out loud when he emerged from behind a door. I was furious for a full 15 minutes until I realised someone else was out at lunch - 'oh get Amy, get Amy!' (which he did).

'Trick or treating' was a blast this year. we ganged up with a crowd of friends and assailed their block with about 14 teeny kids. Our gang included a 3 year-old fluffy pig, a cheetah a teeny tiny superman, a bionicle, 2 ninjas (of course), a flower fairy, a witch, a groovy cowgirl and a pokemon trainer. I was resplendent in my pumpkin beret.

A full 2 hours of 'twick or tweeeeeeehheet', 'daddy, daddy, I got candy' and 'that pumpkin moved' was followed by good ole bobbin for apples and a glass of spiced cider. ( I opted for the mojito though). A wholesome fun evening was had and we learned a whole new halloween custom. The booty trade.

Now although this sounds like an inner city sexual favor, it is in fact completely innocent and entirely fascinating. The kids pour out and count their 'booty' of candy. They then embark on seemingly endless sweetie swap transactions. 2 milk duds for an eyeball. A mini snickers for a full size skittles. A jelly booger for a dismembered finger. etc etc And boy are those older kids ruthless in their rip offs. Since when was a mini starburst roll ( opal fruits to the ancient among us) equivalent to two frankenstein shaped sucker rings????? Never, I tell you. But we're watching the process intently - because believe me, when teen spots and boyfriends start to appear, all those wee brothers will be claiming revenge for those booty trades - big time.

horrid behaviours

So it's halloween tomorrow with all the usual trauma that surrounds a 6 year olds costume decision. This year Twinkle has dialled down the ghoul factor and is going as a 'cute storybook witch' (lots of orange and lime green). Son is a ninja - one of 24 I suspect, last year there were about 250 annekin skywalkers - that was an interesting matrix-meets -star-wars moment for the teachers

In typical fashion he had a very specific idea of his costume in mind. It has to be a plain black ninja, no embellishment, no weapons, no compromise. So we look online for about a month (I'm way too busy to be sewing this year). 'No that one has a dragon I want plain black'. No that one has a blue belt I want plain black. No that one has a red stripe I want...' 4 days to go and I'm freakin out - I anticipate major meltdown on Halloween morn. So we traipse across town to a party shop mid 4 days before halloween hell. (only comes second to ToysRus in Christmas week). They have the costume, in his size for only $15. Bingo. We wait in line. They pull the costume. We get in line again. We reach the checkout. "I dont want to be plain black I want the leather ninja costume'.

Now at this point any other mother would slap him and tell him he was an all black ninja and thats the end of it. But I have been that mother transforming a spider outfit into a bat outfit 15 minutes before the party and I an NOT reliving that martha stewart moment. So he gets the leather ninja outfit for $35 and it will go in the same box as the $50 skywalker outfit never to surface again come Thursday, I know! AND I will at this stage place a $10 /£5 bet with anyone who wishes to take it, that tomorrow at 7.30 am he'll want to be an all black ninja again. (or a puppy!)

Where did I put that evil wine?

ohmagawd

another earthquake. 8.04pm we're all sitting on the floor and there's a boom. Because we have great big windows we all looked at those first thinking it was a huge gust of wind - then the house shuddered. We've obviously integrated into California now though, because we immediately leapt to the computer to check out the seismic scale! It was a 5.6 - moderate apparently the scale goes up to 7 - that does not translate to moderate in my book, but who am I to argue. Anyway nothing fell off shelves, the chimney didn't crumble (thankfully as I was sitting under it) and the tea lights in the pumpkins perched on the deck rail were still lit - so no harm done. Little boy got a little freaked out though and twinkle of course milked the event for every last ounce of drama - forcing us to practice our duck and cover technique.

Oh how we laughed when our friends started phoning to see if our house on the cliff was still here. Personally I think they were all planning to loot our substantial earthquake kit. (they laugh at us now you know, but come the big one, I know I'm gonna need to turn that gun on our neighbours to protect the corn beef).

Despite my blase attitude I'll now spend the whole night listening for a tsunami.

a matter of taste

America goes all out for Halloween. We realised this last year when we were confronted by life-size zombi's in cages and entire houses decked out as witches lairs. This year I'm relishing in all of the good taste stuff that is created. From electric pumpkin carvers (awesome) to jelly body parts to flashing bubbles shaped like cats. The best stuff though is edible. This week the kids will eat only spider shaped pasta and husband is drinking wine named 'evil'. (It is aptly named!). When a workmates regular package from mom arrived I was gobsmacked though. Among the beautifully wrapped treats were the usual ghost shaped lollipops and chocolate cats. Second prize for bad taste went to chocolate coated oreo cookies topped with a little icing tombstone (sweet). First prize went unchallenged to the huge chocolate coffin. Complete with RIP and woodgrain effect this sucker competed for inappropiateness only with the obligatory 'sexy' witch-mom who shows up at every playgroup dress up party. The coffin was complete in it's glory when we popped the chocolate slab lid to reveal a white chocolate skeleton resplendant on his orange cushion. He's too intricate to eat so he's resting in the fridge until we have a santa to replace him.

ouch

We have young people staying for a couple of weeks so we duly trooped of to a theme park at the weekend. Last time we went there, I braved a leg dangly roller coaster thingy -it was singularly the worst experience of my life! I will never do that again,

But I do go on old wooden rollercoasters and waltzer type things. Well I did until this weekend. This week the first ride I tried, an airplane / roundabout designed for small children left me nauseous for the rest of the day. On The Grizzly - a wooden rollercoaster I wasn't holding on. Not becuase I was feeling brave, but because it is so rattly (is that a real word?) I found myself literally clutching my temples in an attempt to stop my brain from slamming against the inside of my skull so violently.

Twinkle of course wanted to go around twice. I said no.

mixed messages

At the beginning of the school year, parents are asked to attend a parent / teacher conference. Here you sit down with your child, discuss progress and agree a set of goals for the year.

As my little darlings are perfectly behaved geniuses this is a cake walk for us. It is very weird though, how they both clam up and get all akward because their two worlds are meeting at a tiny table (teachers never think to bring in big chairs in this situation) and all eyes are on them. This week I was left feeling all antsy though. Twinkle's new teacher is pretty straightforward and a nice lady. And she seems to be actually teaching math which is a BIG deal in this household which is scarred by last years long division fiasco, But she kept slipping into that baby talk thing that people sometimes do. It drives Twinkle NUTS and I've been constantly telling her off for being disrespectful when she imitates it. I'm telling you, after twenty minutes of it, I bonded very deeply with my child. The woman actually said 'lickety split' for gods sake!

THEN in the boy's session his teacher, who is lovely, set him a goal of 'being willing to make mistakes'. I know where she's coming from on the confidence thang but she actually said 'its ok to get it wrong'. Excuse me but he's six how the hell is he supposed to interpret that? So when he gets 2 out of 5 in a test she's gonna say, yeah its ok to get it wrong? I doubt it.

snack attack

The lovely office manager/company grown up, was going to Safeway last week. 'I'll stock up on snacks' she says. 'What do you all want?' In typical Northern Californian style the list went like this...
trail mix, dried fruit, some green apples (not red, they use too many pesticides), and nuts.

Now, in Scotland the list would go like this ...
hobnobs, kitkats, mcvities rich tea, cheese n onion crisps, something healthy - oh bananas, and diet coke.

So I was terribly impressed with them all and feeling a wee bit smug with myself, and my new healthy environment. Until today that is, when i had a stinking hangover and all there was to eat was freekin trail mix and nuts!

Luckily I expanded my emergency handbag kit after the last earthquake and I found a mini snickers and a tetley teabag in my handbag. Man it was goood!