Wednesday, January 30, 2008

NOT BOVVERED

I should post photos here i know. but that involves me getting up, finding the cable thingy for my iphone, and clicking two buttons. seems like a lot of bother to me.

maybe later.

oh my gawd - am I middle aged??

This just occurred to me.

In the past 2 months I've taken up knitting, pottery and reading history books on 16th century society. Is this a sign of something? Why has the slumbering artisan in me suddenly awoken?

now granted by knitting always turns out to be a scarf, regardless of what it starts as - and a very mishapen and knotted one at that. And I only use size 36 needles cos I dont have the patience for anything thinner, but still...

And my pottery SUCKS! ( I do a great Demi Moore /Righteous Brothers routine though. ) I've only taken 2 classes so far but I can tell my teacher thinks I'm 'special'. Especially when I completely loose control of the clay and end up scraping the walls to remove the 2 inch 'olive bowl' I used 16 pounds of clay to create. I repeatedly tell her it's actually a celtic vessel made in the traditional western isles style. she aint buying it though. - And I had to get my acrylic nails removed so I'd stop slicing through my creations - so I'm sure this one wont last long

The history books are taking a very long time to digest - but I do get past page 18 which is the deepest dive i managed with any of the 'fascinating' business strategy books that line my now sizable reference library

WTF!!!! My hobbies used to be drinking till i fell over, swearing until I subconsciously broke into Russian and wearing shoes completely inappropriate for the surrounding terrain. what happened? anyone? someone?

I thought I was European until..

On my recent sundance trip I did two things which made me feel like a total hicksville prude.

First up, sharing a room with two girlfriends, I'm chatting, pick up my things go into the bathroom and get ready for bed. As I emerge I think 'why did I just get changed in the bathroom? I'm not 11 years old!!!!!' I shared the thought out loud and they both went 'yeah we did wonder' - obviously had been exchanging looks while I was in there.

Then we saw a movie called 'Choke'. The girl from Trainspotting was in it. A little raunchy for a 8.30am viewing, but funny - I recommend it. But here I had hicksville moment number two. There is a scene in the movie where a female character has engaged the male lead to play out her burglar fantasy and during the act she reaches under the bed and grabs a hairdryer. I'm thinking 'why are people laughing?' I lean over to my friend to ask. Just as I start to whisper ''what's the relevance of the hairdryer?' the 'hairdryer' starts to buzz... Oh the look of disbelief that the California girl gave me, was physically painful.

But of course now they are all considering Scottish colleges for their daughters!

Coffee n eggs for breakfast. - Lily dont read this first para

Today was destined to be another ho hum day at work - even in the glittering world (!) of brand design you get those.
But no, packed with events it was.

First lovely A goes into the kitchen and screams like a banshee. We've had a recurring ant problem, despite having completely pristine everythings by my standards. When A went to fill the drip coffee machine, she spotted a little sucker in the water reservoir, she flushed it out - only to set off a mass exodus of egg carrying ants emerging from the innards of the coffee maker. Aaargh. we've all been drinking coffee from there - I refuse to believe the colony was established and fertilized in the last 24 hours. eeeeeuggghh. Send teabags - please.

Then as the morning rolled on, more and more workmen types appeared. Now this I tend to find dull - we rarely have 'diet-coke' types here. Then they leave the door open so it's freezing and to top it off they are way too respectful - no 'awright darlin - hey I widnae bring you a broken pay packet' glesgae banter to redeem them. So I plodded on.

We work in a big new warehouse (esque) building and they were fitting ceiling fans so there was much monkeying up ladders and bending of pipes going on. I realise that lovely A the office do everything is missing and presume they've annoyed her so much she's gone off for a sandwich. Which I also decide to do. I step outside to see if I need my coat (it is January after all - but I didnt) and there she is driving a bleedin cherry-picker around the back yard and hooting like a loony.

Obviously I immediately started screeching 'let me let me let me'. She wouldn't let me, but she came down and up we went together - her driving. We went higher than the roof then proceeded to have a ladylike conversation across the fence with the dudes from the surf shop next door. 'hey ladeez whats the surf look like from up there??' 'flat' 'bogus'. - obviously from great distance we appeared to him as ladeez and not screeching glesga/boston keelies as we did from up close.

It was sooo cool though. I want one for my birthday now. I can just see me, cruising up Highway 1,driving with two little knobs, appearing at peoples upstairs windows, looking in car sunroofs, decapitating myself on powerlines....

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

star spotting

I went to the Sundance Film festival in Utah with two friends.
Minus 10, freeeeeeeeezing cold, standing in queue's for 2 hours for tickets, living on popcorn, coffee and bagels for 3 days. And I LOVED it. It was a total hoot!

Celebs all over the place:

Alan Alda in the airport and on our plane (he's VERY old)
Jack Black at the Premier (he's VERY grey)
Danny Glover (he's looking wobbly)
Glenn Close (she's teeny tiny)
Patty Smith (I didnt know who she was but she's tiny and has had a hard paper-run by the looks of her)
Woody Harrelson (my mates saw him, I missed him cos I was putting my dafty bobble hat on at the time)
And lots of people who's name I can't remember so obviously aren't famous enough yet to merit a mention here.

I stayed with friends of a friend in an incredibly fancy and beautiful big house in the mountains (fancy as in, they have a cinema and ski lodge in the house, fancy). Which in itself was a hoot.


Saw some great movies and a terribly self indulgent documentary on Patty Smith. But at least now I know who she is!

I also had my 15 minutes of fame. Saw a documentary about water 'Float'. You MUST see it if you get the chance. Or read the book 'blue gold'. Anyway, at the Q&A session at the end, I talked about how it had knocked me off the fence on privatisation of water in Scotland. And they asked me to come up to the mic to tell the audience. Being shy and self-conscious I struggled with the decision for 2 seconds - and of course stepped right up there. My mates were thrilled. J says she's been going for 15 years and never seen anyone invited up to the mic before. I realised I am obviously destined for greatness and have a career as an activist / public speaker ahead of me. - that is till she showed me the video and I realized that while speaking very convincingly and with passion, I was talking total mince!!
But maybe politics is more my calling...

Anyway read the book, see the documentary, or check out the website wwww.floatthefilm.com. Please.

happy new year

On New Years Eve, while we had a housefull of people, little boy comes to me and says 'mum, I don't feel too good'. Oho thinks I, too much Root Beer (which tastes like germoline in my opinion. not that I've ever eaten germoline but its how I imagine it must taste). I whisk him upstairs and he duly barffs EVERYWHERE. Perfect exorcist style, it hits the walls, the floor, my suede boots (they've never been the same since the carpark incident anyway). I mop him up settle him down and return to the party.

Everyone leaves eventually and I get to bed at around 2am. At this point, a 96 hours of bodily fluids and sleep deprivation begin. Son is ill for 2 days (both ends, nuff said). He starts to recover and husband takes ill (less ill than the child in my opinion but still needs to go to his bed for 2 full days - but of course). 21 year old nephew visiting from Scotland gets it the night before his 12 hour flight home. He recovered enough to travel, clutching a pack of immodium for safety. Then as husband recovers and nephew departs, daughter gets it.

I spent 96 hours cleaning, bleaching and mopping brows - and I didn't get it!
My OCD handwashing thing must be a blessing after all.
Anyway, I felt like Ricky Fulton on Jan 1 - lucky white heather anyone?