At the weekend we were invited to a kids party/ cinquo de mayo party. Twinkle was already there. Hubby goes off in advance to drop soemthing off. Me and wee boy are all set to leave. I nip back into grab a bag and lock up etc. Wee boy is waiting in garden ( LIVES on the swing practically). Anyway I come out he's nowhere to be seen. I running up to the road - no sign. Out to the back gate - no sign. Back into the house - no sign. Starting to panic big time - I'm YELLING his name. And I see him in the distance on the cliffs, running back towards me. he only turned when he heard me yelling - how he heard me I don't know, cause I couldnt even see him. He then RIPS into me for giving HIM a fright, cos he thought I was behind him!!!!!!
Next day at a party in the park, he disappears off to the toilet on his own, to wash the tree sap from his hands. All while I am watching him like a hawk. He's there, I put something in the trash can and he's gone. I swear he's trying to give me a heart attack. I haven't slept for two nights with the terrors of it all.
Needless to say his father got the blame for allowing him too much freedom. Can't be my fault I'm constantly neurotic. (apparently).
Monday, May 7, 2007
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Straight to my head
Had a haircut on Saturday. I SWEAR it sapped my strength. I've been ditsy useless bird for 2 days now.
This morning I took out my wallet to check I had cash for the carpark (see previous saga on that one).
Then promptly left my wallet on the counter. So I get in to the carpark, have to plead with the nice carpark guy to let me park temporarily for free, traipse over to the office, cadge $10 and walk all the way back. The carpark guy had to pay for me once before, then another time I forgot to get back before 7 and he'd gone home, so I was stranded with no car keys (valet dontcha know), so he's used to me. But maan they're ribbing me at work.
They've also taken to making me say 'potato'. Results in peels of laughter (no pun intended). Don't know why, I suspect it may be my accent (ya think??) but since I'm useless for anything else right now I can only comply.
This morning I took out my wallet to check I had cash for the carpark (see previous saga on that one).
Then promptly left my wallet on the counter. So I get in to the carpark, have to plead with the nice carpark guy to let me park temporarily for free, traipse over to the office, cadge $10 and walk all the way back. The carpark guy had to pay for me once before, then another time I forgot to get back before 7 and he'd gone home, so I was stranded with no car keys (valet dontcha know), so he's used to me. But maan they're ribbing me at work.
They've also taken to making me say 'potato'. Results in peels of laughter (no pun intended). Don't know why, I suspect it may be my accent (ya think??) but since I'm useless for anything else right now I can only comply.
The stories people tell.
When we have little side chats in the office (as you do) I'm often struck by how different our lives are - especially our childhood memories. So I make notes in my stripey book under a 'must blog this' heading.
Unfortunately I then forget the stories. This I find frustrating and fascinating all at the same time. So I'm leaving them as they are - it feels appropriate somehow. So my 'must blog' page currently reads:
7 story tree house.
Won horse in raffle / rodeo.
Wagon trip.
Parents Naturist friends in the kitchen
Kayak convention
Horse choked - died.
Tree house fell down.
Bacon candles / Bear bait.
Avril Lavigne *MF.
I'm kinda scared to work with these people now.
Unfortunately I then forget the stories. This I find frustrating and fascinating all at the same time. So I'm leaving them as they are - it feels appropriate somehow. So my 'must blog' page currently reads:
7 story tree house.
Won horse in raffle / rodeo.
Wagon trip.
Parents Naturist friends in the kitchen
Kayak convention
Horse choked - died.
Tree house fell down.
Bacon candles / Bear bait.
Avril Lavigne *MF.
I'm kinda scared to work with these people now.
Talent show
I have been horribly busy and stressed by my IRS returns which would make Jesus sell his soul for a good tax adviser! Hence no blog entries. Also, Twinkle, had her school talent show on Saturday. So the added pressure of being a non- PTA but guilt ridden Mom meant, I had to conjured up 40 T-shirts in 2 hours. However I did it, and sold them for a whacking fundraising profit.( I am SO great.) So am now released back onto my own self obsessed vanity site.
Anyway, talent show was phenomenal. Professional mc, lights, smoke machine, wireless headset mics, etc etc etc. None of your Mrs Johnston on piano in the lunch hall here. Its California don't you know.
Highlights of the night:
Twinkle and her mates in their Wizard of Oz dance routine - of course. Followed by:
Shirley Temple tap dance opener ( I positively filled up)
Elvis and his teddy bear (some parents are borderline cruel)
Very beautiful Russian singing wee girl in a peasant skirt (you just know she loves Tatoo though)
5 year old harmonica player (so sweet my teeth hurt - and his dad was kinda tasty too)
3 x pianists (unfortunately all played individually) but one hi-5-d her big brother when she was done, so we let her off for being cute
Mission Impossible gymnastics team - complete with woolly hats and laser lights and back flips. (way too cool for school)
The pirate jokes (what give a pirate a heart attack? blocked ahrrrrrrrteries)Classic
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star played on the recorder via a fourth graders nose. (now that's talent).
6 year old, who when the rapturous applause for her van morrison song died down, piped up 'emm actually I wasn't quite done yet!'
Some misses:
Sisters song by mini blonde brats in big frocks.
Unfortunately large child with lisp, singing Hilary Duff teen angst song.
Shy and awkward child singing Avril Lavine angry song.
Very pretty blonde 11 year old, in very mature red lipstick, doing somewhat inappropriate Gwen Steffanie routine.
(with obligatory mother lipsynching in the wings of course).
Bongo drums. (nuff said).
Anyway, talent show was phenomenal. Professional mc, lights, smoke machine, wireless headset mics, etc etc etc. None of your Mrs Johnston on piano in the lunch hall here. Its California don't you know.
Highlights of the night:
Twinkle and her mates in their Wizard of Oz dance routine - of course. Followed by:
Shirley Temple tap dance opener ( I positively filled up)
Elvis and his teddy bear (some parents are borderline cruel)
Very beautiful Russian singing wee girl in a peasant skirt (you just know she loves Tatoo though)
5 year old harmonica player (so sweet my teeth hurt - and his dad was kinda tasty too)
3 x pianists (unfortunately all played individually) but one hi-5-d her big brother when she was done, so we let her off for being cute
Mission Impossible gymnastics team - complete with woolly hats and laser lights and back flips. (way too cool for school)
The pirate jokes (what give a pirate a heart attack? blocked ahrrrrrrrteries)Classic
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star played on the recorder via a fourth graders nose. (now that's talent).
6 year old, who when the rapturous applause for her van morrison song died down, piped up 'emm actually I wasn't quite done yet!'
Some misses:
Sisters song by mini blonde brats in big frocks.
Unfortunately large child with lisp, singing Hilary Duff teen angst song.
Shy and awkward child singing Avril Lavine angry song.
Very pretty blonde 11 year old, in very mature red lipstick, doing somewhat inappropriate Gwen Steffanie routine.
(with obligatory mother lipsynching in the wings of course).
Bongo drums. (nuff said).
Friday, April 13, 2007
Eaaaarugh
I offended a Californian recently. I've met him twice max at work. He waltzes into the office, walks straight up behind me and tries to give me a neck massage. Needless to say in true Scottish lilting tones I went. 'Aarrgh wituryedaen? Personal space man personal space'. He looked like I'd vomited on him (probably sounds the same to be fair). Hysterically everyone in the room looked stunned, turned to him and went - 'don't you know she's British?' So I felt less weird somehow. Being Californian he just shrugged and walked off. I feel a tad bad. (But only a tad).
He's since called me both uptight and old. I've called him a half arsehole half hippy.
I think I've made a new friend.
He's since called me both uptight and old. I've called him a half arsehole half hippy.
I think I've made a new friend.
activist - moi?
I got enlisted to help organise a protest/rally/gathering thing here for 'step it up'. Basically a movement to try to get America to agree to reduce carbon emissions. All part of the new Al Gore inspired global warming action. Most people here hadn't even heard of Kyoto till recently.( And I think Al Gore may be the anti-christ -I saw the omen III - but thats another entry) Anyhoo, one glass of wine too many at a party (some things in life ARE predictable). And I set myself up as campaign manager. Well how hard can it be? I reckon 20 of us with kids. My family is bigger than that! Of course, being a smartass I go into full on PR mode. So now our figurehead has been on front page of both local papers and their websites, interviewed by a radio station and raised as a champion by every green group in the district. (not me I have visa renewals to worry about you know - no matter how worthy and respectable the cause and event I'm laying low). So we're totally kacking it now that we're gonna have 300 people joining us for a picnic on the beach. We've even managed to rope in a photographer and a pilot to fly overhead and take arial shots (not very green of us but we'll smudge over that one!!!) So today we rented a megaphone, (what joy that is with 2 kids at bedtime. I'm keeping it! ) and when I'm done here I'll be writing a 'thanks for coming speech, printing 40 tshirts and praying it doesnt rain. Obviously the only day in the next 3 week window with rain forecast is this Saturday. Just like Scotland really. But never mind, if its only 20 of us we can still have a picnic and we'll have 2 tshirts each to keep us warm. Might even spot some whales. www.stepitup2007.org for those of you interested. Photos should be on the site by Sunday.
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