My nose

Now, second only to my buddah belly, this part of my anatomy has been my main area of body anxiety over the years. (Now that I'm pseudo American my backside is vying for 2nd position, but that's another story.) I've now developed a lump behind my nose which by anyone's standards is odd. What is it about getting older that you started getting random lumps everywhere? Is it a build up of chocolate chips or what?? Is it just me maybe?

Anyway this lump then became annoying and now is distinctly worrying. I have to confess though, that it's worrying only because I made the mistake of trying to self-diagnose on the internet. BIG mistake. I started out with the potential of a blocked or infected sinus and the niggling doubt of maybe a cyst or an abscess. Oh Lordy Lordy how wrong was I. After scanning the list of symptoms which ranged from 'nose lump with partial blindness' to the gem 'nose lump and sore ankle', I discovered that I have a) acne on the inside of my nose b) a parasite sack up my nostril or c) nose cancer. Since I have not plukes anywhere else I'm ruling out a). I downright refuse to entertain for one moment the HammerHouse-esque scenario of b). So that just leaves the cancer. I may well be worried enough to actually visit a doctor now, I am at least appropriately concerned.

The man-of-steel of the house, has just kindly pointed out that cancer probably doesn't go away overnight and gradually swell up again across the day, giving me enough peace of mind to at least sleep tonight. But then he did spend 15 minutes at dinner time today explaining to the kids that he never gets sick because he eats lots of onions. Why I'm believing him I don't know!